The Advent Calendar
by Alogisch
Summary: Entry for the Broken Holiday Record Contest: Alice has a new idea to make the things to do before Christmas more interesting. The boys have other plans with her idea.


**Entry for****: the Broken Holiday Record Contest**

**Song: We wish you a merry Christmas**

**All Human**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, or the Christmas song. I just own the plot. **

**The Advent Calendar**

**EPOV**

"That's it, Edward, right there." She was squirming, breathing shallow and making the cutest noises beneath me. I could tell she was close, her talking became more difficult every minute and so did mine.

"I wish…." Yeah, she was definitely too far gone for talking.

"I wish…."

"Please tell me, love, please tell me and then come for me. Can you do that for me, babe?" I asked, surprised that I was still able to form an accurate sentence.

"I wish…."

"Yes"

"We wish…."

"Fuck, yes, please don't stop" Wait, we wish, where did that came from. O boy, no, no, no, no. We, as in Bella and a little tiny person inside her?!? Charlie is gonna kill me. Or maybe I didn't hear it right… Yes that must be it.

"Bella, honey, what do you wish?"

"We wish" After I heard the words we again, I didn't hear anything else, I went on autopilot. I was way too young to be a dad. I was only eighteen and Bella was even younger. Besides we weren't married and we were still in high school. This shouldn't be happening, no, wait, this couldn't be happening, I always wore condoms, and none had been ruptured. So she can't be pregnant. Unless… No, Edward no you're out of your mind. Bella never would be unfaithful to me. Never, but… No buts, I have to talk to her, or my dad, he would understand.

The thought of my dad made me relax. He, as dr. Cullen, would know what to do, how to act and how to bring the news to Charlie without getting me shot.

No with me almost calm again could still hear Bella mumbling words. I tried to focus on the words, but I couldn't make anything out of it. Because it didn't sound like my girlfriends voice. I was to sunny for it to be during sex.

"We wish you…"

I know that voice. It's familiar, not Bella's, but it's…

"We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year".

Grrr… Alice.

Then I heard a knock on my door. Without my answering her knock the door went open and Alice literally danced her way in my room, opening the curtains and apparently not noticing that someone is was asleep in here. Well, yeah, was a sleep and having the best dream ever, except for the end when a little pixie ruined everything.

"Damn, Alice, it's 6.30 in the morning. Can't a guy get some sleep in here." I groaned, while putting the pillow over my head to avoid the morning sun shining in my face. "And why are you singing Christmas songs. It isn't even December yet."

"No and you're wrong. It's December 1st." Alice's voice rang through my room.

"Why, it's Sunday, why can't you let me sleep. Go annoy Jasper or something, or watch some chick flick with Emmett, but please leave me alone."

"Can't do, dear brother"

"The reason therefore is…"

"I have a wonderful idea and you guys are gonna love it. By the way I want you in the living room in 5 minutes. The rest is already waiting for us downstairs, so I suggest you get up, get dressed and get your butt downstairs ASAP." The courage some people have.

I got dressed and headed downstairs, although ten minutes later than Alice wanted just to make a point. But besides a dirty look, her cheerful appearance stayed that way. Too bad.

"I had this idea. Normally everyone is stressful about Christmas shopping, decorating, wrapping presents and so on. So I thought I'd make us an Advent Calendar and everyday we can open up a compartment and the activity that appears in the compartment has to be accomplished by everyone. But because only one can open the compartment and some activities can only be done by one person I invented us a game. Every evening by dinner we throw a dice. The one with the highest score is allowed to open the compartment."

"And the one with the lowest score will be able to sleep in?" I mumbled. Apparently not unintelligible enough because all eyes were on me again.

"No, Edward. The one with the lowest score is the one who has to do the activity if it's for one person. When there are more required the winner may pick more people out to help the loser with the activity."

And the rattling keeps on going and going and going. When this is over, I'm going to Bella and sleep in with her and just cuddle in the bed. Just thinking of her smell, her beauty, her chocolate brown eyes, her female curves, her kisses and what she can do to my body, makes me want to leave this room instant and worship her all day long.

Absentmindedly I stand up to leave the room and go to Bella's place. But before I'm even out of the living room something hit my head. Hard.

I turned around to see Emmett trying to hide his grin.

"What did I do to deserve that?" I tried to hide my annoyance.

"Dear, sit down please", Esme said with a slight reprimanding voice. "Alice, wasn't done with explaining her idea. You don't have to like it, but at least be the gentlemen you are and stay until she's finished. I'd expected more of you."

I felt a bit bad after hearing the disappointment in her and went to sit down quickly without further objection.

"Who wants to throw first?" Alice said.

I could've been mistaken, but I thought I heard her say that we had to throw every evening. Never mind. The sooner this is over, the sooner I can go to my love and kiss her. Focus Edward.

"Your turn" Carlisle said and handed the dice over.

I threw the dice. By a miracle I had the highest score. Alice pushed me to open up the first compartment. It said:

_Just to get used to the calendar we have all day off. _

Nice. I've got the whole day to be with Bella.

"Alice, I didn't think I was ever going to say it, but I like the calendar so far."

Alice responded with and: "I told you, you were gonna love it!" and Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and Carlisle nodded in agreement.

"I really love the idea, Alice" Esme said.

"May I please go now?" Esme nodded and I went off to Bella.

______________

Unfortunately the next calendar week didn't go so well for me and the rest of the man. The girls seemed to have all the luck so we, as in me, Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper, had to clean the whole house, get all Christmas stuff downstairs, decorate the whole house, chopping the tree the girls picked out, and so on and so on. The only time the girls didn't have good luck and Alice had to open the compartment it said _Christmas shopping_. And Alice was only to happy to accomplish that one.

And what is even worse, is that Alice can't seem to stop singing that Christmas song. Yes, the one from my dream, or nightmare (at least the ending), which ever you prefer.

But I can't work with the calendar anymore. I'm physical and emotional broken. At least I like to think so and by the look of it Jasper and Emmett too. For that reason I planned a meeting with them. I wanted to get rid of the whole calendar idea, preferable the whole calendar, and do things the old way.

So here we are, at midnight, in Emmett's room, to plan something out.

"What's the plan, guys?" I asked.

"Well we could just open all the compartments, and do some stuff on the same day, like the two days we had to chop the tree and the day after put it in the living room. We could've done that the same day and therefore missed out a day rest. If we can combine more things, we have a lot of free days." Jasper initiated.

"I thought maybe we can replace the dice and cheat that way."

"Or we can replace some compartments with something else. In something that's more in our benefit."

To my surprise Emmett hadn't say a word till then, but when I looked at him, he had the most vicious smile on his face.

"Emmett, what did you do?" I demanded from him.

"Who, me?"

"Yes, you, you moron. Can you see anyone else whose named Emmett by birth?"

He is definitely getting on my nerves now. Well not only him, but also the whole situation and Emmett being Emmett right now isn't gonna help.

"Well, I might have changed some compartments already and I might also have some cheating dices to give to Rose tomorrow." He said with a big grin.

"Can you elaborate?" Jasper asked curious.

"No, see for your self tomorrow. But one thing is for sure. I am gonna love it."

And by that we all departed to our own rooms again.

______________

But when I lay down on my bed, I couldn't sleep. I was too anxious for what Emmett had in mind. So I decided do take a look.

I slowly went down the stairs and went to the living room where the advent calendar hung on the wall. I must admit, Alice did put quite some work in it and it looked beautiful. Not that I like the idea, but what she does, she does it for a minimum of 100%.

In my head I felt a bit guilty for messing with the calendar. Well I haven't messed with it yet, but the thought of Emmett messing with it, and me knowing about it, made me feel this way. I quickly put the feeling aside, because I wanted the calendar going away and me feeling guilty didn't go well with it.

Just before I was making my move to take a look in the calendar I heard someone stumbling down the stairs. Fortunately, it was Jasper, with the same idea I had.

When we read the compartment, we couldn't do anything but laugh. Emmett was truly gonna enjoy it, because it said: _Give Emmett a blowjob_.

After our moments of laughter Jasper looked suddenly very shocked.

"What is it?" I asked. Curious at what had caused his mood change.

"I just thought about something. What if the cheating dices don't work or what if they find out about the dices and everyone has to throw a normal dice. What if Carlisle loses…"

At his last sentence we both almost gagged. The mental image of Carlisle giving head to Emmett was just to repulsive.

"That's just gross. Please do me a favor and never say stuff like that again. I think I have enough trouble already wiping this mental image out of my head."

"Sorry, but it's the same for me."

"What if we change the compartment, that we at least can save Emmett from this picture and make some good out it for ourselves when were at it."

"I like your idea Edward. Let me change it and then go to bed and play along with everything: You still being grumpy about the calendar, Emmett in a cheerful mood because he thinks he knows what's in the compartment and let see what the girls say when they see this."

At the same time he showed me the compartment. It now said _All man are getting oral from their significant other_.

"Jasper, you're a genius. I see you tomorrow."

And by that we went off to bed.

______________

I slept quite soundly that night. According to that, I hadn't noticed what went on in our house after I went to bed.

Apparently overnight Rosalie had heard us downstairs and took a look at the calendar after Jasper and I went to bed. She saw the changed compartment and did some changing herself. She placed the letters w and o for the word man. And Rosalie went back to bed.

When Bella went downstairs to drink some milk she saw one of the compartments slightly opened and she saw what was happening. She changed the compartment some more, adding: _And getting a full body massage. _There after she went to bed also. But she couldn't wait for the next day, knowing what was going to happen.

For as Carlisle is a very light sleeper, he heard ever single step and word downstairs. So he went for a look himself. He saw some changes that had been made and he saw the note in the compartment. While looking closely at it, he saw at the other side of the paper Emmett handwriting. Not being surprised Carlisle decided that the boys had some lesson to learn. And he changed the compartment for one last time.

After leaving the living room he informed Esme and Alice to play along. They were first very angry at the boys, but eventually they saw the humor in Carlisle's note in the compartment.

But as I said before, I was soundly a sleep and hadn't noticed all this.

______________

The next morning I was the last one coming downstairs for breakfast, holding my appearance to delay the advent calendar events. The rest of the family looked well rested and happy. I noticed that not only Jasper and Emmett had a smug grin on their face. I had a feeling something was off.

Not to my surprise, Emmett's dice cheating didn't workout well and Jasper was the loser. Emmett grin disappeared within a hundred of a second, realizing that his big plan had backfired. And by the look of it Jasper was very glad that we changed the compartment that night.

What was a surprise was what was in the compartment. The note said: _All boys have to do everything the girls want until Christmas_.

It was a setup and my feeling was right. And by the look of it Carlisle and Esme had something to do with it, maybe Alice to, because she wasn't mad.

And there began our nightmare before Christmas.

We had to do almost everything, on top of the normal Christmas things, we had to serve the girls their drinks and their food, cleaning everything behind them, washing their clothes, ironing, dusting, massaging their feet, carrying them from place to place because they wouldn't walk, carrying their shopping bags and so on.

A total nightmare.

______________

After a few days it went just from bad to worse and we couldn't take it anymore. So Jasper, Emmett and I made a plan.

The next day we dressed up in our best suits, picked up some flowers and made the girls breakfast.

When I went into Bella's room I couldn't find her. Apparently Rose and Alice were not in their rooms to, cause Emmett and Jasper strolled back to the hallway too.

We went down, to look for the girls, we heard them sing _We wish you a Merry Christmas_. I hated that song by now, but to an attempt to please them and to forgive us and save us from our misery, I sang along. And Jasper and Emmett began to sing too. \

Following the girls' voices we saw them. Like us, dressed up and with breakfast in hand.

"I am sorry for messing with the calendar." I said to the girls. Still questioning what they were planning to do with the breakfast, as we were kind of their slaves till Christmas.

"I am sorry to. I started the mess up." Emmett intervened.

"I am too." Jasper said along.

"We are sorry too." Alice said "I thought the calendar was a good idea, but it was not so efficient and fun as I thought it would be. And we're sorry for punishing you for so long."

"Well, I know some way to make it up to us." Emmett said with a grin. "You could always follow the note I made in the compartment."

"Emmett if I were you, I'd start to run." Rose said "A.S.A.P." And Rose started to lunge at Emmett and I never saw Emmett run away so hard in his whole life.

The remaining others and I started to laugh, and had a hard time stopping, especially when Alice yelled "Merry Christmas, Emmett."

The End


End file.
